One of the reasons I wanted to be a journalist was so I didn’t have to spend all day in front of a computer.
Therefore, one of my biggest fears while applying for a job is that I will end up in the back room, tucked away in somebody’s Web department emerging only to make small talk about some sit-com. Sometimes I feel like any “web producer” , “web editor” , or “multimedia reporter” is just code for hiring a computer zombie to do monotonous tasks on the computer all day without leaving the office. In fact, a lot of language on journalism job postings is really leading to some other idea. So allow me to translate the often cryptic language of hiring editors:
“We are looking for an applicant who can maintain rich and powerful digital media” = You will be staring a computer screen all day. Don’t think about leaving. Seriously, we’ll bring your lunch to you and everything.
“the idea of working nights doesn’t scare you and if you think you can keep up the pace” = We are going to give you insane hours and work you like a dog. But if you whine about it, we are just going to call you a sissy.
“is in search of focused, resourceful reporters interested in working as stringers in various locations” = We are too cheap to give out health insurance.
“Town X offers a wide variety of outdoor activities” = We know we are in the middle of nowhere. But you never worked at a newspaper before, so suck it up and move.
“motivated and willing to go the extra mile for the paper” = You’re totally going to stay late and get no overtime.
“The ideal candidate will have a minimum of three to five years experience building Web sites plus two years combined experience in object oriented languages such as Python, Java, C#, or Ruby. Experience using XML, HTML, XHTML, CSS, AJAX, and/or JavaScript ” = We are looking for computer jesus.
And I swear if I read “looking for a self-starter” one more time, I will turn off my computer, dismantle it into 50 parts, and bury one piece in every state.
13 Comments to “How to translate Journalism job postings”
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 7:53 am
[…] [SEAN BLANDA] How to translate journalism job postings […]
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 8:35 am
That’s a great line!
Seriously, I know what you mean when encountering job descriptions such as the one you paraphrased. If you want any advice from someone in the business, please shoot me a message. I enjoy helping folks get connected.
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 9:49 am
“We are looking for computer jesus.”
LMFAO
So true…
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Sing along now …
Your own, com-pu-ter Jesus.
Someone who cares
Your own com-pu-ter jesus
Someone to heal your site
Someone who doesn’t sleep at night
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
So far, my job hunt has left me stressed and depressed, and it doesn’t help that my sister just told me I should have gone into broadcasting and my mother told me I should start applying to low paying retail jobs. I’m still gunning for a good job, though.
And, for some reason my RSS feed cuts off about an inch and a half of the left side of your site.
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
When’s the album?
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Ha! Don’t forget someone who can get the news site on the front page of Digg! or harness the power of social networks. On top of doing all the production work, you get to manage the online reputation of the news org! just don’t do anything stupid
Posted: Feb 18th, 2008 at 10:25 pm
haha
great stuff
this will make searching the job postings a little more exciting
Posted: Feb 20th, 2008 at 1:10 am
The Digg thing always cracks me up. Its as if we can hire 50 friends and game the system.
Posted: Feb 20th, 2008 at 3:10 am
you COULD hire 50 student intern digg users and give them all the assignment of ‘designing a social networking strategy’ for the news org.
it would be unpaid of course, to help them ‘break in’
Posted: Feb 20th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
“Self-starter” means they just recycle their job ads from 1980 … “Keep up the pace” sounds like “write eight stories a day!” … What about “detail oriented”? Doesn’t anyone ask for detail oriented anymore? Hm, must be spellcheck has eliminated THAT requirement …
Computer Jesus would ALSO know MySQL and Django, you dolt. The guy they want is only the computer Pope.
Posted: Feb 29th, 2008 at 8:04 am
[…] these job ads seem to be asking for what Sean Blanda has hilariously labeled “computer jesus.” This one from the Rocky is not so bad, but a few items in the wish […]
Posted: Mar 4th, 2008 at 2:15 am
[…] highlighted in a recent post here, as well as in a Mindy McAdams post, most newspapers don’t quite know what they are looking […]
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